Justice

When Justice shows up in a spread, you know there is an issue at hand where “fairness” is in question. Perhaps you are in the middle of resolving something where you or another individual has felt slighted or wronged. If this is indeed the case, the cards would urge you to seek or await more balance.

In some cases, Justice indicates that you should be vocal and assertive in having a wrong righted. The character represented in the card is decisive and strong. These are qualities that you may need to use to your advantage right now. You may even need to recruit a strong advocate on your behalf. Boundaries for appropriate conduct are important, and they may need to be set or accentuated.

In other cases, Justice may remind you that though at a particular moment things may not seem fair and true, that the Universe has a way of restoring balance when we act in good faith. We may need to wait for this balance to be restored, rather than actively trying to force it back into place.

Perhaps an event that seems an unfair and unplanned loss may have opened the door for new seeds to be planted, which will blossom into something much sweeter. Nature holds a special balance that can be looked to during times of loss and strife. We may need to sit on the Earth and ask her to help us find our balance, as there is no greater caretaker than our Earth Mother! If this rings true for you, consider making an offering of sage, tobacco, or sugar to the Earth and ask her for the balance you need.

Justice may also indicate that we are in a position of power and influence, and that we must be mindful of how we wield this influence. Are we making just decisions that are of the most benefit for all beings involved? Or do we need to balance the scales a bit more precisely? Take stock of where your influence may be causing any imbalances, and attempt to adjust accordingly.

Sometimes, being in this position of power and influence requires us to take a difficult path where fairness is brutal in nature. Impartiality is not always about being acquiescent! Justice does not always come in beautiful forms – sometimes it requires sharpness, as the sword in the picture suggests. Do you need to wield your sword? If so, do so in the most loving way possible, which causes the least amount of harm and simultaneously offers the greatest benefit. But do know that we all sometimes need to stand in our power.

Lastly, if this card is drawn in reverse – or if this intuitively resonates with you – it may encourage you to look at where you may have wronged someone. Justice serves as a reminder to make reparations for any harm we have caused. Do this well and do it soon, with an open heart. This will allow healing for all of you who are involved. There is beauty in knowing when we must admit to our faults ❤️

Judgment

Judgment is the 20th card in the Major Arcana. Like all of the Major Arcana, there’s some powerful imagery here! If Judgment has shown up for you, there is a loud and clear message that you need to hear right now. What is the universe trying to show you? Are you following your calling?

Often times we are sent divine messages that cause us to re-evaluate where we are going. Sometimes we ignore them, even when they are BIG, because we don’t want to move outside of our comfort zone. Judgement invites us to be open to receiving these messages, even when they feel uncomfortable. Your Higher Self is demanding your attention – listen well! Your intuition will show you how to proceed.

An example of a BIG message might be an unexpected job lay-off, or a friend you’ve always relied on moving away. The universe will find ways to show you that you are ready for MORE (maybe a new career direction / maybe you need to connect to different people) – if you take the message now, Spirit might not have to be as loud the next time 😉

A good indicator when your higher self is leading is a kind of scary, tingly excitement. It might feel uncomfortable and frightening, but there’s an urgency to proceed. Sometimes grief and sadness can be present, but amidst it may be a new clarity. If something feels yucky & aversive, even if it seems like a “good” opportunity – listen to that too. That is not spirit calling!

The meaning of this card can also be quite literal. Now may be the time that karma comes to you, either with the rewards for your good work, or the sticky consequences for a decision that was not your best one. If you find yourself in a bit of a karmic mess, consider what brought you there, and take the message to heart. Everyone makes choices that may have bitter consequences – the important part is to learn and grow from them.

However, it may be that you are or will be receiving the beautiful gifts in return, that you yourself have offered the universe. You are likely at a time where big change is at hand. Even if change comes fiercely, it’s time to embrace it now as a gift – whether it feels that way initially or not.

In reverse, Judgment may indicate that you are being overly critical in a situation, and trying to impose your will and control instead of allowing things to flow as they should. Take a look to see where you may be making judgments that do not serve yourself and others. It can also mean that you have missed a message. Do some reflection, and possibly some journaling to uncover the information that may have slipped through your fingers ❤️

Two of Cups

The Two of Cups is clearly a card about relationships! If you’ve drawn this card, chances are there’s a strong relationship in your life that is of great benefit to you both. Whether it’s an intimate one, a friendship, or a work partnership – there can be any number of possibilities – it is clear that you should look to this relationship right now.

Intuitively, whomever comes to your mind first would be my suggestion for focus. You may want to spend time talking with this person about an issue at hand, or seek their assistance. Perhaps this person needs your assistance! Whatever the case, tapping into what this relationship has to offer (yes, giving back also offers to you) is important at this time.

It’s important to remember that the two cups here are symbolic of emotion. There are feelings at play here that are deeper than surface level. You are both emotionally invested! It can indicate that someone may be more emotionally invested than the other, and to keep an eye on this – yet a cautious perspective is more relevant if the card is reversed.

This card can speak to a strong marriage or intimate relationship. You both compliment each other and are there through thick and thin. Your love runs deep, and your life force flows well in this partnership. In reverse, the Two of Cups can indicate you may want to give your partner some needed attention and care, as this may have temporarily fallen by the wayside. Give a meaningful gift, or take a night out together doing something you both love.

Another reversed meaning (or if you simply feel into this in your spread – not everyone likes to read reversed) can be that you need to share and be honest about your emotions with someone. Is there a dear friend or loved one that you need to speak your truth to? If so, the time is now.

Being a Solo Musician, Long Term Bullying & Being Different

Hey, hi. Thanks for reading. I promise though this may be long it’s not fucking dull. Yes, there will be cursing. I’m not a “polite woman.” I won’t ever be that – so if you’re looking for one, you’re on the wrong blog.

I hope I don’t need to say “trigger warning” as I think it’s implied in the title 😜

Many if you know I was the target of substantial and chronic bullying as a child, lasting from about grade 3 through to my high school graduation where I got the fuck out of my hometown and never looked back.

I’ve been called various names including bitch, spaz, loser, weirdo, psycho, you name it. I’ve had tacks put on my chairs, nasty notes put on my desk, and written on my locker. I’ve had girls tell me they would drag me away and beat me on my way home from the bus stop. I’ve had boys whisper how they’d like to sexually assault me in the middle of highschool biology class. I’ve had my hair set on fire. I’ve had teenagers try to run me over with their car. I’ve had boyfriends break up with me because THEY were bullied for being with me. And I never knew why.

I have an idea why now – I’m not a “neurotypical” and likely have ASD and ADD brain neurology. I probably said and did things that I never knew were rubbing people the wrong way. But yunno, no one ever told me. They just treated me like a piece of human garbage. And being different is no excuse for being bullied. My neurology, though it may explain why not everyone understood who I am, does not legitimize being treated any less favourably than others around me. Let’s make that perfectly clear.

Anyway, there’s a lot to that part of my story but it ends there today. What I wanted to convey is that I carry trauma that still makes me feel like I’m a piece of human garbage sometimes. Thanks assholes!

BUT GUESS WHAT – turns out I’m not a piece of human garbage. I’m a strong, powerful, funny, badass lightworking healing woman who only wants to help others NOT feel like shit too. That’s my work. I don’t want you to feel worthless, or powerless, or hurt, or wounded, and carry that around. I want you to HEAL and SHINE like the magnificent beautiful HUMAN MIRACLE that every one of us pieces of the Universe is manifesting as. And that’s why I’m sharing. Because, I do feel that way most days now. There are always moments where I feel like garbage – but I know that’s not ME – that’s the assholes that ingrained that message in me from a very young age. And I won’t BE them. I will only be ME now.

So how does that relate to my music? Well I’m glad you asked. Since I was a pre-teen, Music has been there for me. Music with a capital M. Well, it’s been there since always, but my pre-teen year’s was when I really started to use it quite heavily as a coping mechanism for being tortured. I would listen to songs filled with sadness and rage and it would make me feel so comforted and empowered that people with these feelings could manifest in such a beautiful way.

You see, for those of you who don’t use music in this way, it’s a method of relating to others on a soul level. When (most) people write music (there are definitely exceptions) – it’s a soul bearing exercise. It’s healing work. It’s catharsis. Listening to someone else’s catharsis can also be your own. “Wow, THAT guy got his heartbroken. But he wrote this record instead of offing himself. PROPS.” You dig?

First, it was listening to music that was helpful, and then it became creating. If other people could heal and stay alive in this way, well so could I. Having a father as a musician was definitely a big motivation too, of course. I learned to play bass first, and then added guitar. I also played keyboards. And guess what kinds of songs I wrote – fucking sad ones.

My parents were concerned; “why is your music so sad?” Well, it was my PROCESSING. Putting my sadness into a song was a metaphorical and literal sending away. It was an active method of staying in flow. Spiritual motion. We need to MOVE things to heal. Creating music is a beautiful soul motion. Poetry can be the same. Same with visual art, and especially DANCE!

I feel so grateful to have had that outlet. It’s funny, my ego also thought being a musician would be “cool.” Yeah, no. I think people thought I was even weirder, frankly. Why didn’t I just play field hockey and get a beach tan like everyone else? But my music was just that, MINE.

For many years through University, I tried to fit in with other musicians, and play with groups of artists who were mad confident in their skills. What was different for me was this nagging feeling that really I was garbage. My confidence when playing music with others has always been incredibly low due to this fact, and because of my neurology, the processing I needed to keep up with a group of musicians while being excruciatingly anxious just wasn’t available. So I would end up just smoking pot and hanging out with musicians, being afraid to express myself in case I really WAS garbage. “Yeah I’m a musician”, but I never really had the confidence to express myself as one in front of others who seemed so confident they were not garbage (when sometimes they weren’t very skilled at all). So my music continued to be very private except for a select few I’d share it with.

Fast forward to after having kids, being burnt out and unwell physically and mentally. I would play kids songs on my guitar for my son and run singalong circles. But really my music had crept back inside. Kids songs were safe. And eventually those fell by the wayside too. I was also holding on to some very unhelpful religious beliefs that made me feel as though my music was an unnecessary crutch I needed to let go of.

Well here I am today, and I’m happy to say my music is BACK. I’ve realized that it’s integral to my soul expression. It’s a release and a divine flow that NEEDS to happen. I’ve tried to connect with others who play music and that is not aligning, so I’m doing it SOLO and I feel like that’s the way it needs to be right now. I still have intense anxiety about performing but I am challenging my beliefs and patterns every time that comes up by just continuing on creating and SHARING my music on social media. That’s just enough public expression for me to open the doorway for actual live performances when my brain is ready. It’ll be ready in time with patience, love, and compassion.

Thank you to my husband who holds space and provides the resources for me to process and create. Thank you to my kids who listen to my songs over and over and over while I perfect them. KUDOS and THANK YOU to every solo musician who’s had the gumption to release their soul songs to the world. You are my inspiration, and you are beautiful. You are creating wonderful vibes, and you are doing so in contradiction to the myth that we need to have that “band” to perform with. Even if I don’t jive with your particular musical manifestation, I will still honour it and say thank you for doing what you do. Thank you for your long nights perfecting the gems you send out to others. Thank you for standing in coffee shops and belting out your HEART for us all to hear. Thank you for clicking “upload” to SoundCloud and hoping it’s as beautiful to others as it is to you. Thank you for those of you who remain humble even when your music has touched thousands of other souls.

THANK YOU to those bearing your soul. And know that when I release a song, no matter how trivial or simple it sounds to you, or how off key my vocals are, or how my guitar twangs a little bit here in not quite the right way – I am expressing myself in a way that is powerful and important for my soul and my own healing. Know that every note is a release and a blessing, not just the poetry that accompanies them. Sometimes it’s more the notes than the poetry – usually the poetry comes last. If you are listening to my music, thank you for sharing this with me. Thank you for holding space for my art. I appreciate every single time someone holds space for it, because you are holding space for my healing, too. And maybe your own, if my songs resonate with you ❤️. That’s been my experience with Music with a capital M.

Love to you all! And know that if you are coping with bullying currently or the impacts of it later in life, you are NOT alone. You CAN heal, you CAN shine. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need someone to talk to. My door is always open.

My SoundCloud: https://m.soundcloud.com/jaynekarmalamo

Temperance

I just love the imagery in Temperance, the 14th card of the Major Arcana ❤️. This divine being is in perfect harmony with the elements. Fire, water, air, Earth – all appear to be fully impacting the dynamic in a beautiful way. The masculine and the feminine are also represented here and very much in unity. This being is in flow, having one foot in the water, while still being grounded.

If you have drawn this card in a spread, it indicates that you are doing healing work and coming into divine balance. You are learning to take what comes to you and handle it with grace and assuredness, as well as humility. Life’s path is clear and bright, and you are taking it in stride.

Now is a time for tranquility and peace. Being in flow means knowing when to interject and when to allow things to happen without your interference. Listen closely to your instincts, finding the middle path between overreaction and inactivity. You will know when your action is required, and when it is best to stand back.

Avoid extremes at this time – if you find yourself dealing with too much intensity, do some reflection on how you can be more at ease. Finding a balance can pertain to any aspect of your life now – relationships, career, health & wellness. If something feels out of sync, give it your attention now. Acting with patience and compassion, especially when it comes to yourself, will help things flow more naturally. Listen to the voice of your highest and best self! Let go and let flow.

Temperance, drawn in reverse, can mean that you may be living in excess or disharmony and have not yet faced the possibility that something needs to change. Consider that continuing in imbalance will not serve your highest good; chances are good that you know where this applies. If it is not obvious where the imbalance is, it would be wise at this time to speak to a friend, mentor or healer for their insights. While big changes may be needed to bring your life back into harmony, you will not regret the struggle once you see the results!❤️